One of the things I like least about not being married is the inability to be a kid. You hit thirty or so and all of a sudden people start giving you funny looks if you happen to wander over to the sand box. I'm not a touchy feely type guy in the first place - if a guy touches me my first reaction - unless I know him- is generally hostile.
And likewise, as I age it gets easier to disregard Christmas when you don't have any children. Consciously, of course, I understand the yearly holiday rituals and the myth of the eternal return - but hey a myth is different when it's your myth that is up on the intellectual chopping block.
Plus it's been my great fortune to have played piano since childhood and having access to a record collection from infancy. I've always been able to connect with my child hood more then others seem to.
The last element in the soup isn't quite so pretty. For some people life brings a measure of happiness, for others not so much. We don't get much choice in which illusions we are permitted to continue believing.
Sometimes we tire and no longer find it possible to make the effort we once did to convince others we are decent people.
Charlie Chaplin, who's father was a drunk, had a direct insight to how the personality splits. specifically the promises we make when we are drunk are forgotten in sobriety. WC Fields, also a drunk, would open a bank account in every city he played with the result being that even now there are accounts in his name scattered around. The think being that as the thief will tell you the greedy man is the easiest target - and when you come down to it we all have our flaws.
I was struck by some cave drawings in the UK. There as in many such drawings you have to go way deep into the cave to find the drawings - there's no hint otherwise of what's coming up - and I feel a kinship with these artists because they were indifferent seemingly to those in their era's liking their art. Maybe they felt that no one else could understand it?
In any case ?I couldn't let the day pass without posting this years <a href="http://www.megaupload.com/?d=P16PTEXK"> christmas song,.......</a>
It seems that megaupload is back from downtime - In fact the rumor is they have been getting some heavy flak from the copyright protection scene - which I remind you I am at least theoretically part of. But the scene ain't that simple. When Alicia Keys, Janis Ian, Puff Daddy and I are thinking the same thing there just may be something to it.
here's the "blunt" url http://www.megaupload.com/?d=P16PTEXK
for the file which is only 25 meg or so. There's a seven minute ambient piece which is the intro part of the "extravaganza" called At the Depot the Christmas song is just a pno/voc demo such as one does when they need to formalize the material.
hava a happy
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